Elton John - Rock Of The Westies (1975) Album Score: 10

As you probably could have gathered from the title, Rock of the Westies is full of rock songs, and if you read further into the title, you can gather that they apparently came from a place called “Westies.” That’s right; you won’t find many ballads here. There is only one of them, as a matter of fact, and it’s called “I Feel Like a Bullet (In the Gun of Robert Ford).” It’s a strapping fine song with a nice melody and solid instrumentation, but you’ll probably notice immediately that it isn’t nearly as engaging as his other ballads. But we can forgive that (Right?) because the primary purpose of this album is to ROCK.

And ROCK, it does just fine. The nice thing about rock ‘n’ roll Elton John is that he’s pretty much always fun at it. Even in the 1980s when his career became stale, his rock ‘n’ roll songs were still enjoyable. They might not have been memorable, but he had a naturally good vocal chops and he generally attracted good musicians to keep them sounding punchy. The exact same thing can be said for Rock of the Westies.

That’s not a good thing, though. Comparing anything to Elton John’s 1980s career is not a compliment! In the 1980s, Elton John existed merely as a zombified shell of his old self where he lost his uncanny sense of melody and harmony, and making it worse, he didn’t seem nearly as keyed-up as he used to. By a large account Rock of the Westies was where that cancerous process had started. You can really begin to suspect something was up by the end of the album when the dull rocker “Hard Luck Story” and the 1970s elevator muzak “Feed Me” comes in. Man, those are flat and lifeless songs.

In fact, you could probably sense that in the other songs, but those were kept alive by a raucous vocal performance, great back-up musicians, and/or unusual “gimmicks.” “Dan Dare (Pilot of the Future)” has a nice tune, but what ends up holding my attention the most are those cartoony guitar and synthesizer tones. So, it makes a good listen, but even then, it isn’t as captivating in that Elton-John-y kind of way. You know what I’m talking about! “Grow Some Funk on Your Own” and “Street Kids” both have cool, gruffy guitar tones, a solid driving beat, and an energetic vocal performance. Songs as spirited as those are impossible to hate --- you might even start to love them after awhile --- but it’s difficult to deny that they lacks the inspired, infectious quality of his classic stuff.

Even the album’s big hit, “Island Girl,” is a surefire sign that he was declining. Commercially he was doing just fine, though; it hit the No. 1 spot in the charts. I feel great and happy when I’m listening to it, but there really isn’t anything that special about it. Of all his hits, that’s among his least. (I’m saying this even though I gave it an A- ... well, it’s still a good song!) Also a good song is the medley that opens the album. It has a fun beat and a nice melody. But what pushed that over the edge is how he layered the “Yell Help” and “Wednesday Night” sections together toward the end. You wouldn’t think they would go well together, but they did! Nice touch! And the end where the band plays a funky beat as fast as they could is nutty, and that’s another point in its favor. I also enjoyed the ending track “Billy Bones and the White Bird” with that thundering drum beat and that unexpected and beautiful chorus section he worked in. That was the best ending I could have hoped for.

Even though I said constantly that this album was the beginning of the end for Elton John, it was a gradual process for him. There’s still enough about Rock of the Westies that is good and holy, and it would be a good album to possess if you really like his earlier stuff. Just make sure and don’t listen to the bonus tracks. They are the worst bonus tracks of all time! One of them is something similar to the title track from Captain Fantastic except it’s stale and entirely forgettable. The second one is a piano ballad .............. and it’s by far the worst, most tedious piano ballad I ever heard him do. This all points to Blue Moves, the tedious double-album monster.

TRACKS

Yell Help/Wednesday Night/Ugly A-

A lot of fun! This is a six-minute medley, it starts out to be a bouncy mid-tempo pop rocker with a catchy tune and tight instrumentals. It’s not particularly exciting, it’s surely toe-tapping! The middle of it is more of a ballad, and it has that weird synthesizers playing huuuuuuuuge arpeggios. Them the rocker comes back and Elton’s snarly vocal performance makes him sound like he has something caught in his throat. He manages to overlay the “Wednesday Night” portion on “Yell Help.” The end is a very fast-paced rocker! It’s pretty nuts... and then fade-out... This was an entertaining song!

Dan Dare (Pilot of the Future) B+

This is hardly a sort of composition that Elton couldn’t do in his sleep by now. Naturally, it has a good melody and strong vocals. The one thing that sets it apart are those cloppy synthesizer noises and guitar tones they play throughout. (Yeah, that shows what a great writer I am... I resort to making up words. How do you like that??) It’s like they’re writing a song for a stupid cartoon character.

Island Girl A-

This was a big hit single, but it has nowhere near the same endearing qualities as his other hit singles. The melody has a few nice hooks, but it lacks that certain staying power. Maybe that’s the telling sign that Elton was slipping off his peak. (Of course I say that knowing that he did slip off his peak, and this was where it started! Yeah, that the power of reviewing these albums 30 or 40 years after-the-fact.) Anyway, this is a fun song with a cool rhythm section. I like the xylophone in the chorus, and that funny synthesizer at the end!

Grow Some Funk on Your Own B+

It’s much more rough and tough than the last one, and Elton adopts another gruff snarl in his voice for good effect. Once again, it has a nice beat and the guitar riff is catchy indeed! The vocal melody is nice though not incredibly memorable. There is a nice texture played at the end with a sort of tinny keyboard... (it doesn’t sound like a xylophone... but I guess it could be...)

I Feel Like a Bullet (In the Gun of Robert Ford) B+

All A-minuses and B-pluses! This is quite an even album so far!! ... At least this is a ballad, which means we get a break from the rockers and we get to hear what Elton John does best. It sounds sort of like “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road,” except it doesn’t tug at your soul. The melody just isn’t that inspired. But it’s a good melody anyway, and I enjoy it quite a lot as it’s playing.

Street Kids B+

And now it’s back to the rockers just as the doctors prescribed! (Yeah, Elton John had a doctor who told him to RAWK!!!!) This is another very nicely done rocker that’s played a little more straight than some of the others. You don’t hear any weird synthesizers or funny vocal gimmicks. The guitar wouldn’t be inappropriate in an Eric Clapton record... And once again, I’m giving this a B+. I’m even looking for excuses to rate it lower, but it’s just another fun tune. Where it could have run into problems was the running length past six minutes, but if it never grows remotely tedious, then who am I to downgrade it?

Hard Luck Story B-

This isn’t necessarily worse than the other songs. It has a really quick beat, and you’ll probably find yourself toe-tapping to it. It just comes off as blander than the others. There aren’t any interesting instrumental touches ... no synthesizers or funny guitar tones. The exact same thing was said about “Street Kids,” but at least that guitar was gritty. “Hard Luck Story” rocks a bit and I enjoy the experience listening to it well enough, but it is stale.

Feed Me C+

Ah, yes the glorious ‘70s. Electric piano, crystal-clear drum rhythms, back-up singers ... vaguely funky guitar rhythms. This would go very well in elevators, because it’s so immaculate and it would inspire people to get off as quick before they fall asleep! ... Alright, this really isn’t so terrible. I can listen to it and be mildly entertained, but it’s dull enough that my brain has a tendency to fall asleep. Meh!!

Billy Bones and the White Bird A-

This has a really cool pounding drum part that makes this whole thing come aliiiiiiiiiive. That’s a good thing, because all Elton sings is “CHECK IT OUT!” a bunch of times over and over. But as long as the rhythm is good, I’m cool with that. Don’t worry too much about that, because there’s a really unexpected though rather beautiful chorus, and a nutty synthesizer solo toward the end. So, this is good. Quite good.

BONUS TRACKS

Planes B-

This is more along his usual style ... it sounds similar to the title track of Captain Fantastic except it’s not nearly as inspired. It’s a little bit sad to say so, but this is staaaaaale just like he was in the 1980s. The only thing keeping it interesting was a more-loud-than-necessary bass guitar plodding along.

Sugar on the Floor C-

That’s not a good idea, because you’ll attract ANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Though if you’re lucky, you’ll attract Adam Ant, and he’s apt to play you a merry old tune! ...Um... I’m actually listening to the song now, and holy crap. Is this supposed to be tedious? Elton John plopping around with a piano singing a melody that’s basically toneless and virtually ignoring harmonies? ..... WHAT??!??! Did the rock ‘n’ roll Dementors come along and steal away that shiny blue orb thing out of his mouth???? Where was rock ‘n’ roll Harry Potter when Elton John needed him, huh??? COME ON, SNAP INTO IT!!