Elton John - Blue Moves (1976) Album Score: 9

This marks the official beginning of Elton John's endless string of mediocre albums, which he still hadn't emerged out of. By this time, his muse had lapsed, his energy was spent, and he wasn't interested in experimenting with other types of music. While on all accounts Blue Moves is a decent album, it's a lot like the stuff from his back catalog except it's nowhere near as memorable. So, why listen to Blue Moves when you can just pull out Captain Fantastic again? Making it worse, Blue Moves is a double album—a double album so massive that they couldn't even fit it all on one CD, which means this costs quite a pretty penny at record stores. Whoa boy.

That's not to say there isn't anything worth hearing here. “Tonight” is a fabulous piece. It begins with an incredibly pleasant piano-led classical number that at times is reminiscent of either George Gershwin or Aaron Copeland (...as a complete non-expert in classical music, that is the best I can do). That was quite a bold undertaking for a puny popster like Elton John, and I find it refreshing that he succeeded so well at it. The harmonies might have been borrowed, but they were used well, and it's a very beautiful experience. The second half of that song is a more traditional Elton John ballad... surprisingly this is where the song starts to get boring. At first, anyway, all he's doing is singing and playing a very plain piano pattern. That said, the melody is gorgeous, and that melancholic way he sings it makes it quite a heart-wrenching experience. It gets more sweeping as a full orchestra (strings, woodwinds, brass and all) gradually comes into support him... almost nothing could get better than these orchestrations. Cool.

“Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word” is the only song from Blue Moves that anybody knows... At the very least, it proved that Elton was still capable of producing famous hits in 1976 even if he was descending from his peak. It's very similar to the ballad section of “Tonight.” It's very low-key, very melancholic, and a breathtakingly beautiful experience. Once again, Elton completely nails this vocal performance; he sounds so heartbroken here that he makes most other singers who want a similar effect seem like fakers. There is also a full-orchestra backing him there, and it's perfectly used. The idea to bring in a harmonium to increase that mellow atmosphere was a stroke of genius, in my opinion.

While it doesn't measure up to those two previously mentioned giants, “Someone's Final Song” is another excellent melancholic ballad. It's also virtually indistinguishable from those two songs, stylistically, except he uses synthesizers instead of a real orchestra. Where that song falls a bit short is the melody and harmonies, while good, it doesn't quite capture me.

And then there's the other 15 songs! Erm, where do I start? ...Well, I suppose I could talk about all the other low-key ballads. (I suppose now's the time to mention that one of the problems with Blue Moves is its lack of diversity.) “Chameleon” is nice and seems to specifically recall his Tumbleweed Connection days. The only problem with it is it doesn't capture that same majesty melodically or harmonically. It just seems a bit stale. But we should give Elton credit for at least singing it like he believes it. I suppose that's why everybody loves the guy! “Cage the Songbird” is such a stale and boring ballad that it had me wondering if he was covering a John Denver song... Not exactly the dude we want Elton John to turn into. (Nothing against John Denver in particular... I liked him in that George Burns movie.) “Between Seventeen and Twenty” is so forgettable that it's a wonder I even remembered to write this sentence.

There are an awful lot of instrumentals here. Honestly, what's the point of an Elton John instrumental? Sure, we can easily fall in love with the beginning of “Tonight” and “Funeral For a Friend” from Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, but those were the exceptions. Elton John wasn't too interested in becoming a piano virtuoso (though I don't have much doubt that he could), but these instrumentals don't strive to achieve anything beyond ordinary elevator muzak. “Your Starter For...” has a nice theme and it has rather complex structure, but it's so freaking cutesy and insubstantial. Bleh. “Out of the Blue” is also an OK instrumental with a nice theme, and this one isn't so cutesy, but it's still seems way too polished. When I think about instrumentals, I'd want something that seemed a little more improvised. “Theme From a Non-Existent T.V. Series” on the other hand isn't worth a whole heck of a lot. It doesn't even have a memorable theme, which I suppose is why the T.V. series never existed!

Luckily for us, Elton throws in a few dance songs to keep things from becoming too boring. Unfortunately, these parts are pretty lame. “Boogie Pilgrim” sounds as dull as the title suggests... it's six minutes and it plods along at a most-tedious pace. There's absolutely no drive to it, and the melody is essentially valueless. Even the horn section brought into give the piece some “zest” seemed empty. “Crazy Water” was an attempt at disco music, and I sort of like the groove he has going, but it also seems empty. It's as though Elton decided to just write a disco song without figuring out how that sort of music ticks. Where he does do a dance track OK is the final track, the bubbly “Bite Your Lip (Get Up and Dance).” The rhythm section is more spirited, and so is Elton's singing. The melody might not be too original (it sounds like a lot of other songs), but it's solid enough to get the old foot tapping. “One Horse Town” is also a nicely done dance number; that one in particular has great orchestral arrangements with those strings, woodwinds, and brass melding in with the pop-rock guitars and drums more flawlessly than I would have thought possible. (Alas, these factions can go together!)

In the end, there's enough about Blue Moves to make it worthwhile to some of his fans... Well, at least the ones with the most patience. For the rest of us, listening to this album is a tedious experience with its priceless gems woefully only few and far between.

TRACKS

Your Starter For... B+

And the great album begins ....... with elevator muzak. Hm. It's a cheery minute-and-a-half instrumental with a cutesy theme played with a xylophone, acoustic guitar and some pure synthesizers coming in later. It's not bad actually... The theme is rather memorable, and the song develops in a complex fashion. It's not even 2,000 miles away from that grandiose intro to Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, but let's be nice and overlook that for now.

Tonight A

Wow, say what you will about mid-career Elton John, but this sprawling seven-minute epic is gorgeous. It starts out with an extended classical music intro that seems like he was paying homage to George Gershwin, and then John comes in with a poignant vocal melody that's sung so well that it pierces my heart. This sort of thing is quite special! I do have a few criticisms of it, however, which were enough to keep that plus rating off. Most importantly, it's so stiff and stodgy... Elton John's songs used to have such a youthful vibrancy to them, but here he sounds a tad stale. This is especially evident in the middle of the song where his piano playing comes off as choppy and lifeless. Those are just minor crits... this is a good song!

One Horse Town B+

This danceable pop-rock song is that obligatory rockin' number on one of his 'serious' albums. The orchestration is brilliant with some full orchestra sounds combining with those disco rhythms quite flawlessly. The rhythms are crisp, but the delicious orchestration gives it full body! It's a fun song to hear and there are a number of decent vocal hooks in it even though there aren't nearly as many as we're used to hearing from him.

Chameleon B+

Even in this period of lesser hooks and staler songwriting, it seems virtually impossible for Elton John to be anything less than likable. This sort of likable ballad, you can assume that he could write without even trying. The melody is very sweet, and that is accented through an uplifting vocal performance. The melody doesn't do much for me to be honest, but the song takes flight despite that fact.

Boogie Pilgrim C-

This is really where it starts to become unbearable. This huge clunky mess lasts six minutes and it doesn't so much boogie as it does slime like a slug. (That didn't make sense, did it?) The idea of it was probably to be another one of his dance songs, but there's nothing about it that makes me want to get up and dance. The mid-tempo pace is boring and that makes those would-be festive horn sections seem hopelessly out of place. There is nothing hooky or infectious about the melody whatsoever... and, frankly speaking, Elton John's falsetto vocals seem utterly ridiculous here. This bombed.

Cage the Songbird B-

Not bad this time, thankfully. I remember, in my earlier Elton John reviews, complaining that he was starting to sound like John Denver. This is another one of those cases. (I have nothing against John Denver, really, other than he sucks compared to Elton John normally.) This song is a mediocre acoustic folk song with a melody that sounds merely pleasant as it's playing. Nothing about it threatens to stick to my mind! NOTHING!! I like those woodwind synthesizers, though. They do something particularly nice during the bridge...

Crazy Water C+

Actually, this isn't bad either, but it does seem an awful lot like he spent a lot of time working on a hook that wasn't memorable enough to warrant such hard work. I like those funk guitars at the beginning as well as the maniacal drumming, but they're dressing to an airy melody. The whole song progresses to a flashy and utterly bombastic ending with a full horn and orchestra section, but it just comes off as ridiculous considering how dull the melody is. Meh!!!

Shoulder Holster B

This is a good song although it doesn't exactly spring to life like so many of his classic songs... but it surely measures up with the mediocre songs that he had released in his more illustrious past. It's a typical mid-tempo piano rocker that you would expect him to write. The melody is light and bouncy, albeit nothing special, and a nicely done horn section keeps the flow going. Cool.

Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word A

I used to think he wrote this song for making us sit through a rather boring double album, but I suppose it's a sort of love song! Anyway, this song is gorgeous, and it is the only thing on here that can possibly be considered a hit. It's one of his more famous, low-key ballads with one of the most soul-tugging vocal performances of his career. This still lacks much of the vibrancy of his other albums, but it's easy to forgive that considering this is supposed to be sort of depressing. Nice job there, ole Elton! This here be a gem.

Out of the Blue B+

This wasn't exactly 'out of the blue.' It's a six-minute rock 'n' roll piece of muzak. It's not bad; it's just a few notches above elevator music. It's light, bouncy and mildly fun. You'll like it if you enjoyed that one-minute piece that opened the album, surely. Elton isn't doing anything notable with the piano other than that he is generally skilled with the instrument as everybody already knows! The theme is OK. It's nothing that you'll particularly remember long after it's done, but it's fine to hear.

Between Seventeen and Twenty C+

It's much like “Shoulder Holster,” itself a song that I already forgot how it went exactly, but this manages to be much blander. It still has that good mid-tempo Elton John charm to it, which never seems to be in short supply in his albums, but this melody is pure mediocrity. Sorry. Maybe he's relying too much on this old formula and lost access to the same charisma that once propelled his songwriting craft.

The Wide-Eyed and Laughing D+

Ew. What is this? In a way, I'm glad that this song can't exactly be labeled as his typical formulaic pap. Even though the vocal melody and the way it's sung is typical for Elton John, the instrumentation is strictly unusual. There's some sparse acoustic guitar playing so quietly amidst a piddling sitar and some bubbly sci-fi synthesizers. This accompaniment is so detached that John might as well have been singing a cappella. It's unusual, for sure, but it's just a tedious thing to sit through. The melody is practically worthless, and it's difficult to fathom duller harmonies.

Someone's Final Song A-

This is a sweet song! It has that gentle poignancy that I loved about “Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word” and “Tonight.” He even must have had a talk with himself about harmonies, because these are so subtly majestic that this could be confused for an early '70s Beach Boys song. My only major criticism of this is its utterly slow pace, which seems to bug me more than it did on those previous two songs mentioned. But this sort of song is easy for me to fall in love with... and I might just do that...

Where's the Shoorah? B-

I think the question you should be asking is “What's a Shoorah?” And why does this sound like a boring song some dork would have written for an elaborate, original church musical? ... Man, this song is boring! But at least it's tasteful. Amazingly, I say that knowing this isn't so incredibly different from the previous song, stylistically. John seems to be wobbling down a fine line between beautiful and boring in this album. Even though this song definitely lies on the dull side of that line, I find this to be a rather nice piece. It's difficult to snub a song that's just Elton and his piano, and I like some of these chord changes. The light gospel chorus comes off as pretentious, but he always gets away with doing these sorts of things for some reason.

If There's a God in Heaven (What's He Waiting For?) B

It isn't until now I fully realized that the last three tracks were completely devoid of a rhythm section. I must say I'm thrilled he brought them back! (Oh the smallest pleasures I get out of life...) For some reason, this song reminds me specifically that Elton John is the guy who wrote the Lion King soundtrack. Just like the songs from that film, it's a nice bouncy song with a good groove and likable hooks. He isn't trying too hard to do anything passionate or interesting ... it's just an ordinary pop song. It has nice use of a string section without overdoing it, which he was usually good for.

Idol B

This is pretty nice. It's a nightclub jazzy sort of song... the mere presence of which you can tell how complacent Elton John was getting at this point in his career. But at least it's well done. It's rather slow moving, but I can get caught up in it a little easier than many of these other slow-going songs. The melody isn't too special, but I honestly don't think much of actual pop- jazz songs of this caliber. The saxophone solo (from David Sanborn!) is quite expected and a bit cheesy, but it's nice. OK.

Theme From a Non-Existent T.V. Series C+

A little too fast-paced to be an actual television theme. It's also not memorable... it seems many TV themes in the '70s were pretty memorable. It's just a one-minute instrumental that's seems a little more like an exercise in scales than an actual attempt at writing melody. Hm. It's not very good, but it's also not long enough to actually do any harm.

Bite Your Lip B

Whatever you think of Blue Moves, I think you're going to like that he ended it with a dance song. There's quite a strong disco (ala K.C. and the Sunshine Band) vibe to this, an influence that was probably met with mixed reactions back in the day, but nobody probably cares about anymore. It has a nice groove to it, but it doesn't quite inspire me to get offa my computer chair and boogie with it. Although if I were already dancing, this would keep that dance floor energy going quite well.